ARE WE THERE YET???


One of the biggest highlight of been in a command school is jungle orientation, armed with only a map and a compass. Though saddist instructors will want you to be armed with webbing, rifle, and many other dead weights.


And so we were taught how to read a map, how to locate streams that are unmark in the map. how to, with the help of a compass and a protractor on the map, to lead ourselves out of 'lost-ness'.


And after days of the theory lesson, it's time to get our hands on and dirty. we were brought to the different knolls to try out hands on how to use a compass, point out of to the other knolls with the help of a map.

And when we were ready, it's time for some action. We were brought to the middle of the Mandai Nature Reserve. And we walked all over the place while our sergeant watch from behind. We picked up pointers from our sergeants and we memorise all of them. Because the second time round, we'll be on our own. With us in Mandai, was the trainees from the Charlie company, it's their second time and therefore, they are alone. And we know that one of the detail they have broken up to 2 groups on their own. It's not allowed, but some think that that will help increase the chances of finding a check point.

And this particular detail could not find each other back. They were shouting for each other. My sergeant soon got fed up. And yelled at them to be quiet. And sure they did.

The hours went by and our sergeant still pushed us on, covering almost every square inch. The fact that i was the one carrying the signal set did not help too. Night came and we became the mosquito's food, but we moved on, i dropped my rifle magazine after i trip over a tree root but we still moved on. While crossing a stream, one of my section mate fell of a make shift bridge made up of a fallen tree brunch, but we moved on.

By the time we finally got back to our make shift command post, we were all too tired for anything, we slept the moment we sat down. As for me and one other section mate of mine, We fall in together with the rest when the sergeants called out for platoon 1 to fall in.

As i fell in together with the rest, a female sergeant told me to put on my helmet. Her voice was so sweet, and soft. So different from the other loud talking male sergeants. If only i was a trainee in Charlie company.

Then i woke up, realising that the two of us had fall in the wrong company. We admited our mistake, and staggered back to our Bravo company, with the damn signal set still on my back.

Sweet dreams really do not last long.

And so we moved on from BMT. With the basic knowledge of soldiering skills, we marched on to our new posting.

I was now posted to the BSLC course in SISPEC, confident that i will not be as dumb as i was when i was just a recuit. But only time will tell.

On my first day in BSLC, once the bunking in and other admin stuffs is done my company had to conduct a run all around the camp, the gigantic Pasir Lebar camp. We ran to all the other companies in SISPEC, the other units that also reside in Pasir Leba camp, all the cook house, the 2.4km route. And the sergeants told us that we were lucky that the OC decided not to take us to the obstacle course training field.

After a quick dinner, we procced to memorise the SISPEC song. And the sergeants won't leave us until we can sing out the entire song, loudly.

It was already night when we finally memorised the song by heart. But even so, the sergeants won't dismiss us. They conducted our 'before course' interview. After a long time, it was my turn to go in. And my interviewing sergeant offered me a biscuit. I had to obey, no choice. By that time, i was too tired from the morning rush to get admin things done, the late afternoon runs and the night sing-song session. Half-way through the interview, i fell asleep.

I gest you not. Sleep. And this is where i realised that sergeant had the voice the decibel level of a brand new alarm clock.

Only to learn on the second day that he, the ex-commando man is to be my section sergeant.

Much of the rest of my BMT life pass off un-noticed, un-remembered, possibly because we recurits have grown up to be a better solider. We know more things and therefore, make less mistake, and that means, less screwing from our sergeants.

And sooner than we know, we have passed out as recuits. We are now known as dumb privates. Anyway, we organised a bbq-chalet at Downtown East where the whole of my platoon is invited. And instinctively 3 groups were formed. The super majong kings, those with girlfriends, and the nice guys.

The super majong kings, as the name says, comes to the chalet, goes straight to the air-con room, and plays majong. Non-stop. Not even to eat or drink, not even to pee. Cash is at stake here. Only to realise that their cars have been summoned by the car park wardens.

The next group of them is those with girlfriends. Some of the privates came down to the chalet with their girlfriends in tow. They would cluster together, gather at a bench and talk in a well behaved manner while their girlfriends will happily chat amoung themselves.

The final group of privates is the good guys, they are the ones who organise the whole thing, buy all the foods, cook them, and serve them out onto trays. But these good guys and not under privileged here as you may think. They keep the best cooked foods for themselves to enjoy, they enjoyed toasted garlic hot dog buns with premium sausages while the rest had to be contended with burnt chicken wings and frozen chicken frank's sausages. They had warm satay sauces to dip their satays into while the rest had only cold ones. Ha!

Once the bbq had ended and the mess cleared, alcohol flowed in, the majong ones drank the most. The ones with girfriends drank moderately. While the good guys rested their tummies and indulged in soft drinks.

My friend i however, took our bike for a spin down changi village and to the changi point park connector. My bike, been the rented one of course.

The second day of our chalet was much like any other chalet and therefore, need not much commenting.

HA!

Friend: No you can't do that.
Me: Yes i can. If We can pack a pack 2, i believe i can do this.

Pack 2 is one of the pack that you will need to put into your field pack. And it is the sheer sound of the words "pack 2" could send one's spine shivering. It consist of one thick and big green army towel, two pairs of underwears, two pairs of socks, a pair of shorts and a admin t-shirt. All squezzed into a medium size zip-lock. Each time i pack a pack 2, i just had to burst at least 2 zip-locks bags while packing. It was so diffcult packing it, any attempts to remove the contents of other personel's pack 2 will result only in violence.

Mean while during the conversation, i was trying to pack my No. 4 shirt and pants into a clear handle-less plastic bag. The kind where you can get them absoutely free from the fruits, vegetables and the fish sections.

And, i did it. and proudly present my wonder work to my friend. Ever since then, i've been using those kind of plastic bags to carry my dirty clothing home from camp. And just a little tip, the ones at tampines giant are the largest. Haha.

Anyway, the point is, nothing is impossible in the army. There are even cases of trainees not been able to tell between east and west.

Even the mosquitos in the army had their never say die attitude. They can poke through your uniforms and feed themselves to your blood.

IT'S IN YOU

After a few weeks in the army, you really begin to lose your sense of been a civilan. And you begin to gain new found sense of been a soldier. Whether it's at the movies, beaches, or any shopping malls.

Here's a little list of things of how you know your life has indeed began to militarised.

- You begin to pack wet or dirty clothes into medium sized zip-lock bags when you are at the beach.

- When you go to your neighbourhood gym, you start to do the 10 basic weighted exercise.

- You start using black tape to seal your tin of buttered cookies.

- You stop using clear tape. Because you believe in the ultimate power of black tape.

- You realise that beach road food center is the place where ass holes to show off their hot girlfriends.

- You forgot what a knife is. You have already master the art of the fork and spoon. And even instinctively uses a fork and spoon only to eat your steak while in jack's places.

- You forgot about the availability of buses and began walking from marina center to plaza singapura without a tiny bit of sweat.

- You stop buying new clothes. Except stricity only just before chinese new year.

- When in a cable car, you thought you were in a helicopter.

- You can't read the street directory or any map without a compass.

- You began waking up at 5:30am sharp everyday even on your own bed and without an alarm clock.

- You bring the amazing art of area cleaning to your own home.

- The displaying photos in their frame inside your room has changed to become photographs of you in mailtary fatigues.

Fulfill any 5 of the above and you know that your mind has been militarised by army.

Happy is the soldier who knows no fear.

Happy is the soldier who doesn't knows what the word 'afraid' is.

Happy is the soldier who is fit and muscular.

Happy is the soldier who loves out-field.

Happy is the soldier who worries nothing.

Happy is the soldier who finally gets to attend his ORD blood test.

But fearful is the soldier when he realises the brand-new, green horn medic starts to misses your blood veins when he poke his needle in.

STARY STARY NIGHT (PART 3)


We now had reach the third and final camp site in our 7 days long field camp. Where out mental stregth was tested to the limits.


We had to dig our own shell scrape. It had to be the same length as our body and the same width as our body. And we had to dig a additional hole for our field packs. For at least 3 persons; one of my friend, my bed side buddy, and me had to dig beside a tree, and all we did was not digging a hole. It's removing tree roots. Lot's of them. For one other unlucky guy, he dug up a whole ant nest.

We dig, we dug, we dugged. And soon, it was very dark. And we were forced to abandoned our hole to have our dinner. Along the way, some of us fell into holes. And while having dinner under the light of the picnic lantern, me and four others panic when we realised that we were not carring our own rifle.

After our dinner and our usual powder bath, we were told to go back to sleep in our own hole. Yes, there were all sorts of bugs in my hole. But as my eyes refused to stay open, i decided to sleep in and wait for my sentry shift.

Sooner than i expected, my shift came. and all through out my shift, my buddy and i began to practise the art of sleeping while standing. But since i have been practising that in the mornings of every monday till friday in the north-east line since my poly days, i naturally fared much better than my buddy.

Soon, our week long field camp came to an end. We finally realised how wonderful the ride of a 5 tonner is, how colourful the colour our barrack line building is, how good the cook house food is, how beautiful our toilet bowl is, the power of hand phones, and the wonders of music from your mp3.

Whatever it is, immediately after our shower, a sizeable squad of men from my platoon, this includes me, fall-in and moved off to the medical centre to report sightings of rashes forming up on various parts or our bodies.

STARY STARY NIGHT (PART 2)

After the night attack, our OC went to inspect our tents, and our cooking area. Fortuntely, due to our quick thinking sergeants, damages was kept to a miniumal. After the inspection, he gatered the whole company to give us a good lecture.

"Last night attacks was due to your lack of house keeping. There were food particles everywhere..... bla bla bla......"

So we had a good clean up everywhere.

Only to have realised that we are moving off our our next camp site on the same day.

Soon, we reached our campsite and the first thing that came to everyone's mind was to answer the call of nature. In waves, recuits went ahead to shit at a open patch of land. My friend and i, however, decided to walk a little more, cross a drain and have a peaceful shit while all the other recuits fight for space at that open patch of land.

To everyone's horror, that darn open patch of land was our designated practical training area.

Anyway, by now, most recuits have decided to shit everyday rather than to control the shit. Been said so, my friend and i decided to shit again on our second night at our second camp site. The shit holes at the toilet point was full by now. So we had no choice but to find else where to shit. We thought a little and decided that since that that we will be moving out of this camp site for good the next morning, we decided to shit at that same open patch of land that was our training area for the past 2 days. We knew that the sides of the training area will be littered by the recuits 2 days old shit. so we diceded to shit in the center of the training area.

We first grab our ET sticks and blade, dug two holes, took out our remaining solid fuel, and light up a little fire in front of the two holes. And we answered our nature's call by the fire light, As we looked up, we were taken aback by the most beautiful star littered sky we had ever seen in singapore.

It was indeed, the most romantic shit i ever had in my life.

STARY STARY NIGHT (PART 1)

Yes, it's your first out-field. No training is complete without out-field. And we started off with a 8km route march. In full combat load, with camo cream on our face. By the time we reached our first camp site, the green and black cream on my face are completely gone. we settled down to pitch our tents and dig a small drainage around the perimeter of our tent. But because of our shaggness. the drainage was no more than 1 cm deep and a mere 2 cm wide.

We then had our lunch. Lunch was served in a green packet. If your green packet contain rice, it will be as sticky as any rice dumpling. If your green packet contains noodles instead, it will be the thickest and most soggy noodle you ever had in your life. If your green packet writes "chicken pontage rice", good luck to you.

By and large, green food packets are the most salty food you will have ever tasted. I can finish one whole green water bottle after just one meal of the salty food. Green packet food taste good on the first day because it's new, and exciting. But as the days goes on, the same food gets more and more disguesting, especially the smell of them all. Trainees of all religon, creed and race rather live on the biscuts and fruit bars also provided instead. And before long, trainees will discuss amoung themselves, ways to get rid of their green food packets. The best solution so far, is to bring your green packets to the toilet point, open up the packet, dump the food into the shit hole, and bring back the empty packets to show to your sergeants happily at the next meal time.

Anyway, after our lunch, we had many theory lessons of survial in the jungle, tactical movement, fire movement and lots more. It was early evening when our lessons has finally ended and we proceded for our evening stand-to. And finally, we were allowed to start cooking our maggie mee. To cook, we first need to dig a small hole, place 2 pieces of solid fuel into the hole, light it, and have fun cooking your noodles and hot super 3-in-1 coffee, lipton tea, nestle's milo and what ever you had in your combat rations. Not long after, we started to enjoy ourselves with our little mini camp fires all over the cooking area and hastily put out the fires and left only when we got yelled at by our sergeants.

Soon, the sky became pitch dark, next up, we had powder bath. We formed up in platoon level and drown ourselves in powder and changed into clean uniforms for meant for sleeping only. Been said so, we soon went to sleep. Then disaster strucked.

We were raided by wild boars.

Whole tents was dismantled food stolen, and field packs bitten and man-handled by the wild boars. And they don't alone. They came as a family, There was three cute little pigglets, and infront of them, was two extremly big boars. They bashed through the constantina wires that was been placed all round the perimeter of the company's camp site and wreaked havoc. Sergeants threw flash bangs at them, recuits yelling all over the place, and soon the family of pigs left. Only to have another forced intrusion at another part of the camp site. This went on all through the night and before long, my buddy and i decided to sleep through the commotion and have a fresh start tomorrow. After all, if you don't disturb the boars, the boars won't disturb you too.

Not long after lying down on the ground inside our tent, huge grunting sound was heard, it came from behind my head, and it was very loud. I tilted up my head so that my eyes was looking at the back of me.

And there it was, a big bad wild boar sniffing all over my field pack.

ROUTE MARCH


One of the core trainings in SAF when one is a trainee. What started off as just a 1.5km march soon grew to 8km, den 16km, 24km and finally 28km.


It's not just about walking and walking with full combat load. There's a whole lot of other skills one must achive before going the walk. Or suffer the consequences. Of course, first up, the most basic thing of singing of songs together, i believe this is the army's only other alternative of entertaining one self since we are not allowed to listen to MP3 while on the march.


There are just so much songs to sing. Remembering them all just makes one dizzy. It is therefore, no surprise when one got the lyrics all mixed up. Here's one example:


Booking out, see my girlfriend.
Saw her with, my CSM.
Bash him up.
Win back my girlfriend,
With my rifle, my buddy and meeeeeeeee.


Luckily, we did not sing out loud enough, i guess heads will roll along the dirt track on which we marched on.


Of course, since route march is a very strenuous exercise, we were been conducted a water parade once every 4km. This is to ensure everyone is well hydrated so that no one will get a chance to suffer from hear exhaustion. Which, i realised, gives some of us a problem of another kind.

I was marching in the middle of my platoon when i said "shit, when's it ending". The guy beside me, instinctively cheered me on with lots of encouragement. Of course, with lots of the following words of: 'endure', 'almost there', 'don't shag', 'reaching soon already'. And all those while, no one asked me what my problem was. Not long after, the guys behind me started cheering and encouraging me on. But i could endure no longer, i took a step out of my platoon, take another step out of the road and onto the grass, undo one fly button, and had a good pee. There was so much urine in me that the rear sergeant and the rear scout of my platoon stopped beside me and waited for me to finish my pee. However, there was just too much urine in my bladder. By the time i was finally done, the first men from the next platoon had already caught up with us. And the three of us had to run back to our own platoon.

With new burst of energy which i had achived after my long pee, i joined in the platoon sing along session with fresh burst of energy, strength and pride.

As i moved on to sispec, i had to do a 28km route march on the day before our POP. We started moving out late in the night, only to return back to the parade square the next morning for our parade. Being more experienced than recuits we marched on with ease. And for a long time, nothing happened. Slowly but surely, the inevitable shag start to kick in. Nearly every platoon in every company started to break up. We started to close up and march with pride not from our sergeants yelling, but at the presence of hot pretty girls jogging down the road. Amazing? yes it's true, we were marching right through NTU at that time. Then we went out ot NTU and back to the forest, and soon, the return journey. We started to march through NTU again. But by this time, every NTU student was asleep in their dorm. And because of the nature of the surroundings, we were not allowed to engage in our usual sing along sessions. One by one, we started to fall asleep and into dream land on the march. Waking up only when falling of the roadside pathway and onto the road. Or onto the drains at the other side of the roadside pathway. For me, i fell onto the road three times. As for one my friend, he managed not to fall off the roadside pathway, all throughout that sleepy stretch of the NTU route. He even managed to make a detour around the tree which he nearly crashed onto at the enterance of the campus.

Only to crash right in the middle of the medium sized, 2 pole supporting "Welcome to NTU" sign board. And fell to the ground at last of course.

Well, after that 28km route march, we had our POP, followed by breakfast, a quick rest, followed by cleaning of our rifles while the other companies was sound asleep. Of course, nearly everyone, or at least in my platoon, fell asleep along our company line with rifle parts and ferolite in our hands.

AHEM..... COUGH!

During our stay in tekong, were were introduced the cough virus. It's a wet cough variant where by you cough out yellow phlegm. Where ever you go, whatever you do, it will always be there. And this is the reason why it takes ages to see the MO in tekong. It's not just your company, but other companies as well. It's also not just your batch, but all other batches as well.

Many different people has come up with many different reason fr the cause of this virus. Some common speculation is that wet clothes were hung inside the bunk, therefore, tiny water droplets amoung the air in the bunk get breath into out lungs while we sleep. Another common reason is that we are staying very very close to the sea, therefore, the air has lots of water droplets which was breath into out lungs during the night. Even the water cooler was suspected. It's filter was not cleaned regularly, therefore, it breeds all kinds of baterica at a great amount and that we drink all the bacteria. Another one is that it gets too hot in the day and it gets too cold in the night, therefore, our delicate city breed lungs are not strong enough to withstand the great temperature change. Therefore, the cough.

Whatever the reason is, it does have a impact. During our daily night RO, the RO was read out with lots of coughing in the background. For every PT lesson or drill lessons, there is enough attn B personels in the company to form a platoon 5. Wherever you go, someone will be coughing. Without fail.

And they spread very easily. Here's a true account of one such case that happened to me.

I had that cough and went to see the MO. Since then, for everyday, 3 times a day, i had to take medicine for my cough and the phlegm. And i took my cough syrup with the table spoon i took secretly from the cook house and kept it in my cupboard. And soon, it came to a situation where my buddy got hungary one night and cook a packet of instant noodles to eat. Without a fork or a spoon of his own, he borrowed my fork and the very spoon that i used to eat my cough syrup with. Despite my warning, he still took it and used it for his meal claiming that his immune system is strong.

The very next day, he had the cough and soon needed to see the MO.

Soon after, my cough got for the better while his cough got bad. And one day during IFC training, my same buddy's water bottle ran out of water and brrowed my water bottle to drink from it. After drinking from it, he returned it to me and i put it back in my own SBO. Not long after, i grew thirsty and became too tired to think. Been so, i unknowing took out that waterbottle that i shared with my buddy eariler to have a drink from it.

The very next day, i had the cough and soon needed to see the MO. Again.

Such were the power of the tekong cough. One natural remedy for it is to drink a hot drink every night before bed time. It warms up the lungs and keep you healthy. Though it was just another myth, i took the advice anyway and did it faithfully every night and it does seems to work.

IS IT CLEAN

One things all army personel hates is inspection. Everything can be inspected, area inspection, toilet, bunk, bed, rifle, vehicle, even the water coolers is included.

Pity the recuits allcoated to clean the toilets. Because nothing in the toilet can be perfected, toilet cleaners build the most arm musscles during their time in tekong. This includes me. The toliet IC. Perfectly clean includes, a dry floor, dry basin, no cock hairs in the urinals, bla bla bla. But beyond that, the fan need to be cleaned of dust, the offices need to be clean of dust, our cupboard need to be clean of dust, tables and chairs need to clean of dust, outside, the drive way need to be swept clear of leaves, the drains need to be swept clear of leaves, the baskat ball court need to be swept clear of leaves, the train shed need to be swept clear of leaves.

Only to have dust and leaves appearing all over the same place we all cleaned the day before. We cursed and sweared, but they still keep appearing back again, and again, and again.

Even the heavens despise us recuits. Once the dirt and leaves are under control, they are inspected by the sergeants or officers. During that time, dirt and leaves will surely appear out of no where.

PARADES

This is the one thing army loves to have. And there all sorts of parade, national day parades, COC parades, CO parades, POP parades, mastur parades, SAF day parades, staff parades, turn-out parades, water parades.

Water parades are one of a kind. We were shout out the seven SAF core vaules, followed by the words drink up, and finally, drink up the whole water bottle of water. The first time we did this, we urined at a rate more often than babies. We did it in the morning, at night, before and after exercises, during route marches, all the time. Imagine visting the toilet frequently in the night to pee and still had to not let your sergeant catch you not sleeping in your bed.

Mastur parades are still a mystery to me, done only once in my life while i was a trainee in SISPEC. And my company does it with style. This was how it goes. My company was made to fall in with SBO and helmet, FAD and ID tag and our rifle too. Then we were soon made to form up in the leader's square without all those items. The other BSLC companies soon joined us. Together, we had a flag raising. Followed by a short speech and a quick prize cememory. When everything was done, My company was told to put on our SBO, helmet, rifle, and after making sure we had FAD abd ID tag too, we pulled down our sleeves and immdiately marched off.

To our playground, the well loved SOC.

HAIR CUT, ANYONE?

EC, QB, and all other 10 minutes hair cut barber shops can cut your hair at an affordable cost of just $10. However, a hair cut in tekong cost you just $2 and finishes the job in just seconds!

We recuits, was introduced rudely, the legendary tekong barber.

We were first seated onto a chair, then we took off our grey army t-shirts and the barber shaves our hair in just a few good strokes. This was done with force, to the extend that we thought that the electric shaver was plucking out our hair instead. Yes although most of the barbers are made up of young ladies, the sheer size of them all doesn't bring you any comfort. At all, period. Without forgetting also the occascional times when lumps of hair gets jammed into the electric shavers and the ladies tried to rectify it by using again, by force.

Immediately the hair cut, we went to an open area with brushes to brush off our hair off our heads and body.

Some of the recuits, however did not bring any small change for that legendary hair cut and thus, had to boerrow that 2 bucks from other fellow recuits. After the hair cut, they were at a lost. They did not who they borrowed from. Everyone look alike.

Subsequently, we were made to go through this painful process at a rate of once a month. That is when our hair grows approximately at a length about 1cm. Such was the length or our hair that we were able to observe our hairs growing. Most of the recuits, for 2 months, save a tidy sum of money by not using shampoos altogether and laughed madly at fellow recuits who still wanted to use shampoos.

The tekong hair style, or so we call it, had it's advantages. It's perfect for wearing helmets without worrying about hair fringes sticking out from the front side of the helmet. We need not worry about dirt trapping and getting buried into our hair. Dirt on a recuits hair can be easily be wash off by just water or even powder. there were just so many advantages to list.

Best of all, we stand out among the crowds. In the movies, game arcades, and of course, sentosa.